A. L. unknown-1899

hey A.,

it’s ok, i really mean it.  I know you felt bad about not having time to meet up, but it’s really ok.  there’s a verse from the Bible that’s sort of relevant here.  you know the story of joseph? basically, he’s annoying to everyone so his brothers sell him into slavery but he later becomes second in command of egypt and saves his family, including his brothers, whom he forgives.  he says this, “but as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.” genesis 50:20 kjv.  obviously this isn’t you because you’re not evil, just busy.  but through you not being there, i was able to find some other people to help.  i lean on you a lot, and you’ve been a very faithful friend.  but i can’t always just turn to you.  and ultimately, without you being busy, i would have never had some amazing conversations and grow close with some amazing people.

listen, A., i know you had some rough experiences with people and with personal stuff and combinations of the two, but make sure to trust her again.  we’re all young.  we’re all so unstatic.  you both weren’t ready and this was for the best and you know it.  i wish i could have been there for you, but we hadn’t even met yet.  i know it hurts a little still and it’s so hard and confusing to manage but it’s going to work out.

besides all this stuff i know life’s been pretty smooth.  these are just bumps in the road.  and i don’t want to jinx anything or bring bad luck but i know that it’s going to get real hard real fast some day.  nothing is going to prepare you for what is going to come and you’re going to have to deal with emotions and feelings and thoughts you’ve never experienced or felt or thought before.

so A., learn from these little things.  i know that uncomfortable situations aren’t fun, but learning to deal with the ensuing emotions is important.  and of course i’ll be here for you, but learning to deal with this stuff on your own is important.  i don’t want to take away any part of the learning experience, just some of the loneliness.

you’ve got a lot going for you right now, and it makes me really happy.  you’re doing some really cool stuff and i know there’s some confusion of doing all this cool stuff in a different place than maybe you thought you would but that’s part of the whole experience.  i know you’re most comfortable when you feel not necessarily that you have control, but that you understand.  and while you probably don’t understand everything in your new environment, it will come.  just be patient.  i can’t wait to see you again.  we’ll have a lot to talk about.

affectionately yours.

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